I wrote about this yesterday but I had a little realization earlier today. Yesterday was the first time in probably 4 months that I felt like I was getting better. I feel like I am healing. I am still covered in TSW related stuff and my back is still red and oozy but I feel the progress. During the good times I’m a little uncomfortable, but it is tolerable. I can pretty easily go to work for 7 hours and be out of the bath for 8-9 hours. These are all huge things. I just feel better overall.
It feels like the good is getting better. The past month or so, the bad seemed like it was getting worse, but less frequent. But the good hadn’t really changed much in quite some time, if that makes sense. Now, the good periods, which are more frequent, are becoming better.
Someone on the forum wrote about the stages of grief. I think that I just entered the acceptance phase.
Part of accepting TSW is accepting the fact that although things are better for right now, they can go back to being terrible at any time. Also, we have to accept that we don’t know when we will be healed. All plans are completely tentative. I can’t really make any definite plans until I am completely better because I have no idea what will be going on with my skin tomorrow, next week or even next year. I’m working on developing a balance of realistic optimism with respect to my TSW. I need to be optimistic that things will get better and are on track. At the same time, I must understand that things could get worse and really accept that but not dwell on it or let it keep me from enjoying any of the good periods that I have.
Here’s a face picture with my newly buzzed head. My face is definitely clearing up.. even the little wet wound on the side is slowly shrinking each day!