For all of your Christmas celebrators, I hope you have a Merry (or Happy, depending where you are from!) Christmas!
I’ve been working on an addition to the blog.. I have added a Progress Pictures page. I’ve combed through the hundreds of pictures I’ve taken of myself and organized them by body part, time frame (1-6 months, 6-12 months, and 1 year plus). Face, back and arms have been completed. I will get to chest/stomach and legs later!
Hope you are all having a better day. Last year on Christmas I was in so much pain and I was on so many painkillers just to put clothes on and go to my aunt’s house for Christmas dinner. I barely remember it because it was so awful and painful. This year, I’m still itchy and a little red, but holy shit, have I come far. It does get better. Every time I am forced to go back and relive the hell of the first 6 months of my withdrawal, I remember how far I really have come.
Saturday was my 15 monthiversary and I took some pictures to commemorate the event.
This weekend was one of the best weekends I’ve had health wise in some time. On Friday night, I went out with some friends. We went to West Hollywood, which is the primarily gay area of Los Angeles. I stayed out until 1 AM and danced with my friends. It was the first time I’ve done that in a really long time. Going out to a crowded bar was a bit of a challenge – people kept bumping into me and that kind of hurt and a drunk guy tried to dance with me and twirl me around and I basically had to very sternly tell him to stop.
On Saturday night, our friends had their annual speakeasy Christmas party. Last year I was at my rock bottom on that night and I sat in the bathtub while Chalon went by herself. This year, despite being nervous about dressing appropriately and trying to look “cute” when thats the last thing I feel like doing, I went out, bought and outfit, and went for it. My skin was looking great on Saturday (as you will see below), but as I was getting ready for the party, I noticed my face was getting red. The first application of makeup didn’t cover up the red so I added more on. The party was fun, we were there until 1 AM, and I felt more like the old me than I have in quite a while. Someone actually said to me “You’re back!”
On the way home, I rubbed my face and ooze started pouring out. My face hasn’t oozed in quite some time, so I stuck some domeboro on it. Sunday morning I was a bit flared up, but it wasn’t really too bad. I looked red, especially on my face, but I just put on a hat and my glasses and went out for brunch with friends. That evening, we had a Secret Santa exchange with friends and although I was semi-flaring, I didn’t feel the physical pain or depression that usually comes along with a flare.
Overall, I feel like I am finally improving pretty quickly, for the first time in quite some time. Yes, there is still TSW stuff everywhere. But, it is much less severe all over my body. The oozing still comes, but it is a patch of oozing, rather than an entire section of my body. Flares are lasting 1 or 2 days. The dryness feels a lot better. A few weeks ago, I had more intense flare and I felt the deep, prickly itch for the first time in over a month.
So folks, I know that things can change, but I am starting to feel hopeful rather than hopeless.
Here are the pictures from Saturday. I had just taken a nap so that is why I am so line-y!
And here are the pictures from the party without the lovely Instagram filters that cover up my redness 🙂
I know I’m due for an update. Things are pretty much the same, cycling through flares every week or so. Overall, flares are more manageable than 6 months ago, but they still hit me pretty hard.
My back has randomly cleared up beautifully today! Just look for yourself!
Things feel like they are moving forward. I still have bad days, but they are less frequent. I think I’m used to a lot of things and just can’t really imagine my life without them. Healing seems unrealistic and unattainable but in the back of my mind, I know it will happen.
I’m in Texas visiting my family. We went to brunch this morning!
Hope all my American friends had a great thanksgiving!